Funny Text Messages

kisses r blown & kisses r wasted,kisses rnt kisses unless they r tasted,kisses spread germz & germz r hated,so kiss me BABE im vaccinated rooster & cat going over a bridge,cat slips & falls in river. rooster cant stop laughing. whats the moral of story? wherever theres a wet pussy theres a happy cock A - ur Attractive B - ur Beautiful C - ur Charming D - ur Delicious E - ur Exciting F - ur Funny G - ur Gorgeous H - ur Heavenly Im Just Kidding Loser

Jack and Jill went up the hill 2 fetch a pale of water, we dont know what they did up there but they came back with a daughter. CHINESE SUNDAY BUFFET MENU: *CHU SUM TWAT *SUCK MI PORK *LICK MI CLIT *TUNGSUM CHICK *GOO IN HAND *GULP SUM KUM *CHO KON IT ENJOY YOUR MEAL! Last night, I needed u so badly, I wanted 2 taste you, I wanted you in me so you could work your powers on me but i couldn't find you Mr. PARACETAMOL!!

Wots the difference between an egg & a wank? . . . U cant beat a wank! Want 2 play war? . . . . I'll lay down and u can blow the fuck out of me! Whats the differance between a famliy reunion & a "69" . . . In a "69" you only kiss one cunt!!

what does WIFE stand for? . . . Washing, Ironing, Fucking, Etc... Garath Gates went into a sweetshop the other day for some maltesers. He came out with loads of m&m's there r 5 milion monkeys havin a wank, there r 4 milion gorilaz havin a suck, 3 milion baboons havin a fuck. and there's 1 ugly ape readin this message

Q: What do you call a smart blonde? . . . A: Golden Retriever. a woman orders 2 drinks,then pours both over her crutch. when asked y she explained, i just won the lottery,and this is the only cunt im sharing it with! Whats a 65 year old woman got between her legs that a 25 year old woman aint get between hers? . . . her nipples!

what do you do if you cum upon a leapard in a jungle? wipe it off and say sorry! Luv me tender,luv me sweet,rap ur lips around my meat,watch & smile,watch me grin,watch the cum drip down my chin! You've got mail! . . . Open it please! . . . Invitation for a shag! . . . . Phone me for details

a-ur attractive b-ur beautiful c-ur caring d-ur delicous e-ur exciting f-ur funny g-ur gorgeous h-ur horny I-IM J-JUST K-KIDDING L-LOSER If my dog had a face like yours I'd shave its ass and walk it backwards! What sexual position produces the ugliest offspring? ASK UR MUM!

You look like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. come here, take off urs pants and knickers, get on top of me, enjoy until u get satisfied, loving urs......... toilet! CUSTOMER NOTIFICATION As of May 2001 Viagra will only be available through chemists by its chemical name.So please ask for MYCOXAFLOPPIN Thank you

man in hotel bumps into womans boobs & says if ur heart is as soft as ur bosom u'll forgive me. She replies if ur cock is as hard as ur elbow i'm in room 42! Big bad wolf told little red riding hood ' lift your top so i can suck your tits' "No!"she said lifting her skirt,'eat me like the fucking book says!' The fluffy cloud may kiss the sky, the rose may kiss the butterfly, the morning due may kiss the grass but you my friend may kiss my ass!!

Are you a doctor?, only i thik i've twisted my ankle falling for you! you look good, you look fine, on the top or 69, feel the sweat, feel the heat, i want u n u want me. If u want me 2 give u sum press down ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... R u asleep yet coz dreamin is as close as ya gonna get.....

All these funny and joke text messages are free to view so look through the site at all the mobile phone text messages we have listed and then why not send one to a friend or family from your phone. It's great fun and you might put a smile on someones face